Charlemagne
I understand, up to a point
Sep 2nd 2004 From The Economist print edition

Decoding a Euro-diplomat takes more than a dictionary


IF THERE is one thing interpreters working for the European Union dread, it is attempts at humour. It is not just that jokes are hard to translate; because of the time needed for interpretation, they can prompt laughter at the wrong moment. A speaker once began with an anecdote, and then mourned a dead colleague--to be met by a gale of giggles, as listeners got his joke.

The time-lags have grown worse with the expansion of the EU, to make a total of 25 countries. Finding interpreters who can translate directly from Estonian to Portuguese is well-nigh impossible. So now speeches are translated in relays, first into English and then into a third language. If only everybody would agree to speak one or two official tongues, it would be easier. Or would it? In fact, misunderstandings can abound even when all parties speak fluent English or French. Cultural differences mean that a literal understanding of what someone says is often a world away from real understanding. For example, how many non-Brits could decode the irony (and literary allusion) which lies behind the expression "up to a point", which is used to mean "no, not in the slightest"?

The problem is now so widely recognised that informal guides to what the French or the English really mean, when they are speaking their mother tongues, have been drawn up by other nationalities. Two modest examples recently fell into your correspondent's hands. Both are genuine.

One was written for the Dutch, trying to do business with the British. Another was written by British diplomats, as a guide to the language used by their French counterparts. The fact that the Dutch--so eerily fluent in English--should need a guide to Britspeak is particularly striking. But the problem--to judge by the guide, which was spotted on an office wall in the European Court of Justice--is that Brits make their points in an indirect manner that the plain-speaking Nederlanders find baffling.

Hence the guide's warning that when a Briton says "I hear what you say", the foreign listener may understand: "He accepts my point of view." In fact, the British speaker means: "I disagree and I do not want to discuss it any further." Similarly the phrase "with the greatest respect" when used by an Englishman is recognisable to a compatriot as an icy put-down, correctly translated by the guide as meaning "I think you are wrong, or a fool."

The guide also points out helpfully that when a Briton says "by the way/incidentally", he is usually understood by foreigners as meaning "this is not very important", whereas in fact he means, "The primary purpose of our discussion is..." On the other hand, the phrase "I'll bear it in mind" means "I'll do nothing about it"; while "Correct me if I'm wrong" means "I'm right, please don't contradict me."

Fog in the Channel

The British guide to what the French really mean has a narrower aim: it was written specifically for officials attending the meetings of the European Union's Council of Ministers, where diplomats haggle over legal texts. The boredom and frustration which this sort of exercise can induce comes through very clearly in the authors' sarcastic observations.

No less obvious is the fact that ideas about plain speaking do not travel easily across the Channel. As the Brits see things, a Frenchman who says "je serai clair" (which literally means "I will be clear") should be understood as meaning: "I will be rude". Also evident is the Anglo-Saxons' contempt for spectacular gestures a la franaise. The phrase "Il faut la visibilite Europeenne" ("We need European visibility") is rendered as: "The EU must indulge in some pointless, annoying and, with luck, damaging international grand-standing." The British also suggest that the sentence "Il faut trouver une solution pragmatique" (literal translation: "We must find a pragmatic solution") should be understood as meaning: "Warning: I am about to propose a highly complex, theoretical, legalistic and unworkable way forward."

The British, the French and the Dutch are old sparring partners who know each other's little ways. So the capacity for misunderstanding is amplified when nationalities that are less familiar with each other come into contact. Often the problems are less to do with the meaning of words than with their unexpected impact on an audience. Take the European summit last December, when it fell to Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian prime minister, to try to wrap up sensitive negotiations over a proposed constitution for the European Union.

When EU leaders filed into lunch, they were braced for tough negotiation; so they were startled when Mr Berlusconi suggested that they discuss "football and women"--and that Gerhard Schroder, the German chancellor, should lead the discussion, as he has been married four times. Some European diplomats concluded that Mr Berlusconi must have been deliberately bating Mr Schroder. But when the Italian leader was questioned about his chairmanship at a press conference, he grew hot under the collar, pointing out that he would hardly have become a billionaire unless he were fully capable of chairing a meeting. And indeed his defenders say that in Italian business circles it can be perfectly normal to set a jocular and relaxed tone before a difficult meeting, by discussing last night's football, or even teasing your colleagues about their love lives.

These sorts of misunderstandings are unlikely to be erased even if all Europe's political leaders and bureaucrats were both willing and able to speak English. But ever-inventive Brussels is coming up with a solution of sorts through the emergence of "Euro-speak"--a form of dead, bureaucratic English.

The joy of phrases like "qualified majority voting", "the community method" and "the commission's sole right of initiative" is that they are completely meaningless to all ordinary Europeans--whether in translation or in the original. But, crucially, they are crystal-clear to insiders.

菜鳥日記--豬頭監督2　之　為誰辛苦為誰忙

中日3連戰第2戰...
9局上5:5...堀內又要我王牌守護神上場救援...
可是今天狀況不好..藍臉..不調...
兩球失投球 讓對方攻佔1,3壘...0 out
堀內老頭又下達指示　"ここは満塁の策だ！"
靠! 又要我敬遠!
老子這次才不吃你這套...
下一棒打者福留孝介..哈!紫臉絕不調 比我更慘...
賭上我155速球男的自尊跟你拼啦~~~!

塞外角偏高shoot...呃!打出去了..
喔喔...剛好打到2壘手仁志腳邊..
2壘手自踩壘包...再傳給一壘手佩塔吉尼...double play!!!!
三壘跑者不敢動~~~哇哈哈!! 2out...

下一棒森野...又是個紫臉絕不調...
內角curve 1S0B
偏高直球 2S0B
最後一球...塞外角fork...哈!空振!!
3 out結束這一局...

最後巨人以7:5逆轉勝中日...俺拿到勝投兼MVP
哇哈哈!! 戰績5W3L22SP...

下場後堀內老頭竟然把我叫去訓話...
"不聽從教練指示!你把球隊勝負當成兒戲嗎? 罰金20萬!"

靠~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!
堀內你這個死老頭~~~~!!!!!

喵地　第一年就超想跳槽....>_<

內海:"走吧, 咱們喝酒去..."

プロ野球選手の応援歌MIDI集

http://vitaltrack.hp.infoseek.co.jp/midi/midi.htm

有趣的網站..
有些選手的應援歌歌詞還很熱血勒..

赤星憲広
フィールド駆け抜ける　セ界一のスプリンター　期待と夢乗せて　走れ赤い彗星
在場上奔馳　世界第一的sprinter　乘著期待與夢想　衝吧！紅色的彗星

松井稼頭央（関東版）
狙い球は豪速球　打てば飛ぶ飛ぶ　銀河の果てに　ミスターレオ稼頭央
瞄準的球是超快速球　打到的話就會飛阿飛到銀河的盡頭　Mr.Lion稼頭央

鈴木健
地球を脱出　ホームランボール　引力に負けるな　ライナーホームラン
脫離地球　全壘打球　別輸給地心引力啊　liner-homerun

菜鳥日記--豬頭監督 之 奧運名場面再現...

昨天開始又是對阪神虎3連戰..
第一戰上原一開始就被阪神轟爆...
8局下5:12...堀內監督叫我上場..
靠...1,3壘有人 叫我王牌守護神上來收這種垃圾局...!@#$!@#$...
算了 趕快隨便投一投 等等找內海去喝酒...
最後 投一局 無責失點 13A:6結束比賽
堀内監督竟然還跟我complain..."果然壓不住啊..."
喵地 下次換你自己上來收垃圾!! -_-凸

第2戰 3:6 又輸了...-_-

第3戰 喔喔...巨人抓狂囉...
9局下5:3..
又被叫上場...哼 這時候還是要靠我這個守護神來守護巨人軍的啦~~
上場一看...靠~~~~~~!!!!
1,2壘有人...0 out...面對赤星打擊...還是紅臉赤星...

咻! 外角shoot 147km/h 1S0B
咻! 內角偏低curve 135km/h 2S0B
哈哈~~最後一球用直球決勝負吧!
咻! 呃! Bunt!?
雖然刺殺了赤星 可是變成2,3壘有人...1 out...

下一棒 今岡 還是後空翻紫臉的今岡...=_=...
哼 沒關係 今天我也是紅臉 跟你拼了!!

此時 堀內監督竟然下指令了 "ここは歩かせろ！"
啥?! 叫我敬遠?!
這樣叫我155km豪速球男的自尊擺哪裡~~~!!?
喂! 阿部你竟然也站起來了!
給我蹲好!! 俺還要跟今岡來做個男人間的對決啊啊啊啊啊啊~~~~!!

第一球投出 內角偏低shoot..
!!...ㄎㄧㄤ....界外全壘打 1S0B...
轉頭看看堀內監督 臉色不好
投手教練阿波野 滿臉大便
捕手阿部 "拜託你別鬧了..."
小曹...我現在可以完全體會當時你的心情了...-_-"

想到我的年薪...我的房貸...
sigh...好啦!! 敬遠就敬遠啦!
1S4B...今岡上一壘
1 out滿壘...黯然退場....>_<

就這樣 最後6:5 巨人又給老虎咬掉了...
巨人3連敗 勝差10 阪神魔術數字25....

豬頭監督 輸死你好了!!哼!!

"內海, 再去朱美媽媽桑那兒喝酒吧..."

菜鳥日記--我在巨人軍的日子

阪神你個死變態...
每隻棒子都那麼大...2壘有人一定開強振...
而且還一定咬的到球...
嗚嗚嗚...
人家一軍初登板就給人家敲2本是怎樣啦~~
而且還有一隻2點逆轉homerun...
喵地...現在看到阪神開強振 投手就弱氣了....Orz...

玩到現在二勝三負13救援...唯2的兩隻被本就是給阪神敲出來的...
球季快結束了...阪神和巨人勝差12.5場...魔術數字37....O_o...
靠...巨人軍不是很強的嗎? 怎麼被老虎吃掉了...><

算了...繼續找隊友去朱美媽媽桑那裡喝酒好了...=_="